Episode 13: Louis Sinks the Sub

--------: 5:03 PM
--------: RickDickens77 is now online
RickDickens77: Lou
LouisTheCat: hey rick you made it
RickDickens77: Yup we made it
RickDickens77: Got to the hotel, started to unpack
RickDickens77: And guess what we found
LouisTheCat: what
RickDickens77: SHUT UP
RickDickens77: YOU KNOW WHAT WE FOUND
LouisTheCat: lol yeah
LouisTheCat: youre welcome
RickDickens77: I didn't thank you
RickDickens77: I'm pretty steamed this time Lou
LouisTheCat: woah woah woah
LouisTheCat: thats no way to react to a thoughtful gift
RickDickens77: We can probably get the clothes washed
RickDickens77: But the luggage is ruined.
LouisTheCat: well pardon me for trying to give you something to remember me by
RickDickens77: Urine? Really?
LouisTheCat: what else do i have rick
LouisTheCat: its not like i know how to take and print a photo
LouisTheCat: actually thats not true i probably could have figured that out
RickDickens77: You are a tremendous jerk.
LouisTheCat: my bad
LouisTheCat: but think about this rick
LouisTheCat: when you packed that bag
LouisTheCat: how long were you away from it between packing it and zipping it up
RickDickens77: I don't know, a minute maybe.
LouisTheCat: i dont know what that means but it wasnt very long
LouisTheCat: and did you smell it
RickDickens77: Of course not, I would have done something.
LouisTheCat: exactly
RickDickens77: What's your point
LouisTheCat: think about the effort in timing that right
LouisTheCat: it takes research rick
LouisTheCat: i had to know exactly when to sneak in there
LouisTheCat: do the business
LouisTheCat: and get out
RickDickens77: Am I supposed to appreciate that?
RickDickens77: Am I supposed to go OH THANKS FOR TRYING SO HARD TO PEE ON MY CLOTHES LOU
LouisTheCat: if you had a tiny shred of a soul maybe
RickDickens77: Guess I don't then, because I'm just not seeing the upside.
LouisTheCat: you disappoint me rick
RickDickens77: YOU disappoint ME.
RickDickens77: Emily's bag is a disaster too
RickDickens77: She didn't even bring it inside at the house!
LouisTheCat: im an artist rick
RickDickens77: You're a menace.
--------: 5:53 PM
RickDickens77: We're going to dinner. I'll deal with you later. Has Heike shown up yet?
LouisTheCat: what is a heike
RickDickens77: I told you about the cat sitter.
LouisTheCat: and i told you i didnt need a sitter
RickDickens77: I know, and yet here we are.
RickDickens77: I asked her to start tomorrow, but she was going to come by this evening to spend a little time getting to know you.
LouisTheCat: well i look forward to it
RickDickens77: Please be nice.
LouisTheCat: no seriously i cant wait
LouisTheCat: we can play some games
LouisTheCat: talk about boys
LouisTheCat: ill make us some snacks
RickDickens77: Remember she's just helping to take care of you.
LouisTheCat: taking care of me is your job
RickDickens77: It's one of my jobs, yes
RickDickens77: Unfortunately, my other job has me far away, so I can't do that job.
RickDickens77: That's why I'm paying Heike.
LouisTheCat: how much are you paying her
RickDickens77: Doesn't matter. Gotta go.
LouisTheCat: ah
LouisTheCat: silent auction
LouisTheCat: gotcha
--------: 7:45 PM
RickDickens77: How's it going Lou
RickDickens77: Lou
--------: 8:06 PM
LouisTheCat: rick this lady is nuts
LouisTheCat: i dont understand a word she says
RickDickens77: Oh, yeah- she's German so she might sound funny to you
LouisTheCat: this isnt funny its terrifying
LouisTheCat: and wtf is german
RickDickens77: From Germany. The country.
RickDickens77: She knows English, she just probably doesn't think it matters to you.
LouisTheCat: it matters
LouisTheCat: i got this nutbag running around my house
LouisTheCat: chasing me with a feather on a stick
LouisTheCat: going bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap like its words but its not words rick
LouisTheCat: its not words at all
RickDickens77: It's just a different language. Try to hang out with her, she wants to play.
--------: 8:48 PM
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
--------: 9:06 PM
RickDickens77: What's up
RickDickens77: I'm getting ready for bed
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: i think heike is dead rick
RickDickens77: What?
LouisTheCat: rick shes dead
LouisTheCat: its awful rick
LouisTheCat: shes not moving in there
RickDickens77: Woah, woah, woah
RickDickens77: slow down and tell me what happened
RickDickens77: I can call for help.
LouisTheCat: ok so i was in the pantry right
LouisTheCat: showing heike where the treats are
LouisTheCat: and shes all bap bap bap bap bap bap bap
LouisTheCat: i dont know
LouisTheCat: like baby talk or something
RickDickens77: Get to the part where she dies, please.
LouisTheCat: so im like ok lets find some common ground right
LouisTheCat: so i try playing that game you like
RickDickens77: Catch The Giant Breakable Thing?
RickDickens77: I hate that game.
LouisTheCat: then why do you keep playing
RickDickens77: Think about my choices, Lou.
RickDickens77: anyway, go
RickDickens77: what happened.
LouisTheCat: well she sucks at it
LouisTheCat: thats what happened
RickDickens77: Ugh.
RickDickens77: I'm calling 911
LouisTheCat: wait
LouisTheCat: i hear her
LouisTheCat: yeah shes talking
LouisTheCat: hang on
RickDickens77: Is she ok?
LouisTheCat: i dont know that she was ever ok rick
LouisTheCat: she seems the same as before if thats what you mean
RickDickens77: Ok I'm calling her
LouisTheCat: well now i dont think thats quite necessary
RickDickens77: Too late, it's ringing.
LouisTheCat: she left already you dont need to do that
RickDickens77: I just want to make sure she's ok.
LouisTheCat: shes driving away i can see her
RickDickens77: Quiet.
--------: 9:28 PM
RickDickens77: Ok, so guess what, you got your wish.
LouisTheCat: i didnt want this rick
RickDickens77: No sitter? That's not what you wanted?
LouisTheCat: ok so technically i wanted that
RickDickens77: Yeah. Well you got it.
RickDickens77: You should be ashamed of yourself.
LouisTheCat: i was just playing a game rick
RickDickens77: Several games, it sounds like.
RickDickens77: Shred The Purse.
RickDickens77: Pee On The Shoes And Coat, always a classic.
RickDickens77: Ride The Hair, that's new!
LouisTheCat: its the curls
LouisTheCat: irresistible
RickDickens77: So I'm stuck paying for a purse, a coat, a pair of shoes, a trip to the hair salon and probably an ER bill
RickDickens77: And she didn't want to go into this one, but I'm also buying her a new bra.
LouisTheCat: we had a moment
RickDickens77: Apparently.
LouisTheCat: did she mention the umbrella
RickDickens77: She did not.
LouisTheCat: give it time
RickDickens77: Needless to say, I am annoyed.
LouisTheCat: im sorry rick
RickDickens77: No you're not.
RickDickens77: We'll discuss it when I get home. I'm going to bed.
LouisTheCat: seems early
RickDickens77: Emily wants me to get off the computer, and I don't intend to explain time zones to you.
LouisTheCat: oh i get it
LouisTheCat: adult time
LouisTheCat: hey why does she get to go with you and i dont
RickDickens77: Tell you what, I'm going to go to sleep now, and you can spend the rest of my trip figuring that out for yourself.
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
RickDickens77: WHAT
LouisTheCat: im lonely
--------: RickDickens77 has gone offline